just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Still dying that you shit outside
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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