absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm too high and old for this...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
