waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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