i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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