dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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