i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize