oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize