Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
