we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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