you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
