What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
