guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
