I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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