We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
