why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
