The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
