Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
