Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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