let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize