hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
