I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
