my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
