i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
