Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
