Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
