I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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