I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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