I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
