I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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