Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
