yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize