I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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