i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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