Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Randomize