She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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