dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
