I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
