the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
