All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
So squirting runs in the family.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
