how can u be prego again
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
