i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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