There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
