On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
