Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
