I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
found the other keg... it's in the tree
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
