So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
