Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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