what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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