so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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