I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
