dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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