I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
