White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
