waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize