There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
