is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
