Me. At least after what I've been through.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
