he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Randomize
