I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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